"Just Dating"

March 6, 2007

I've been having some doubts about my "relationship" lately. I use quotes because this past Sunday Kirk said that we were just dating after a year and four months. Just dating. I'm getting ahead of myself, let me go back to Friday night…

Kirk had made plans for us to go to his friend Chrissy's birthday party. (mind you, I have never heard him mention this alleged Chrissy ever before, and according to Kirk they were all BFF and chummy back in the day) My first question to him (because I have a jealous streak, and I'm the first to admit that) "Is this an old girlfriend, or have you guys ever hooked up?" He says no and I believe him.

So we go to dinner, just Kirk and I, and we're drinking, talking and having a good time. I'm actually sick at this point, I'd had a nasty cold/fever all week, and the last thing I wanted to do was get out because I should have been at home resting, but because I'm a good girlfriend, I forced myself to suck it up and go along for the ride. Well, after Kirk and have dined, we go to Baker St. Bar in North OKC. I'd never been there, but I'm sure it was a yuppie bar that didn't interest me, but again, I'm a good girlfriend. We pull up and there's a line out the door (and it's like 37 degrees and I have a thin jacket on and I'm sick) so the last thing I want to do is wait outside. So we get out and get in line, about 15 minutes roll by and Chrissy texts Kirk-"Change of plans, we're going to Venue in Bricktown". I told Kirk to call her first to make sure she was there before we waited out in the cold, but he of course ignored me. I have snot running down my nose and my heel is starting to rub from my damn fancy shoes. This night is slowly turning sour.

We get to Venue after me ignoring him on the ride down there, and when we get there, SURPRISE! She's not there. It's smoky, but not crowded, so I'm OK to stay for a while. We get some drinks, sit down, and wait for her to show up.
I had dressed for a bar, not a club, so among the hoochie mommas wearing mini's and cleavage exposing-nothing tops, I'm sitting there in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that is not sexy in any way. So, I feel frumpy and unattractive, not to mention my nose is chapped and I look sick at this point.

So I'd say about an hour goes by and no Chrissy. I've been drinking and trying to keep Kirks eyes off the hoochies and in my direction. I start to question Kirk if we should leave, but he insists she will show up. She eventually does. First of all, I was introduced as "Emily", not "My girlfriend Emily", just "Emily". So, strike 1 for Kirk. She sits down next to him and they start to talk. Since I can't hear anything over the thudding base from the techno playing in the background, I don't know what they were talking about. But, he turned in a way that his back was to me, and he was facing her. Strike 2. He was awfully touchy with her, more so than he'd been with me the whole night. So I'm sitting by myself, no one to talk to, and I keep pouring the liquor down my throat. I text my BFF's to let them know how miserable I am, because when I can't smoke (because I don't want to chain smoke like 20 cigarettes in a row) I text, it's my other crutch when I'm uncomfortable. So, I go to the bathroom, and when I come back, Kirk and Chrissy aren't there. I sit and wait because the fool left our jackets sitting on the couch unattended-and finish my drink. I'd say about 15 minutes later Kirk and Chrissy come back and Kirk smells like tequila. Turns out he bought Chrissy and some other girls at the bar some shots (not her friends, they weren't there) and did he offer to get me one, or wave me over to partake in the festivities? No, he didn't. Strike 3. I'm plastered at this point, and sure that my speech is slurring. Chrissy goes to a bar across the street to get her friends that are over there to come to Venue. So I make uncomfortable conversation with Kirk, basically he's just telling me how cool she is and how she just started stripping.

Side note: A super tall hot girl walked by and I say to Kirk "That's the tallest woman I've ever seen" and he says, "I bought her a shot at the bar" and had a goofy smile on his face, like I'm supposed to high five him or something.

So, Chrissy texts Kirk and tells us to go to the club across the street. We go, and now my heel is rubbing so much it is starting to bleed. We tramp around the most foul club I've ever been to. Sticky floors, smoke, loud rap, hoochies flying left and right, absolutely disgusting. And SURPRISE! we can't find her anywhere. So, after Kirk makes three passes around the room, we leave. Did I mention that I'm drunk?

Of course in typical Emily fashion, I kept me feelings inside all night, then exploded on him when we got back to his house.
Vodka+Jealousy+Idiot Boyfriend=Hissy Fit.
I know that I should have kept my cool, but I was livid. I tried to explain in my drunken stupor all the things he had done tonight that had made me so pissed off. He just called me a psycho and went to bed. The f**ked up thing about this is that I actually apologized the next day for yelling at him. So, that was a bad night.

On Sunday, after we cooled down, I asked him where he thought this relationship was going. I feel that this was a valid question to be asked after a year and four months of being in an exclusive relationship. And he says "I don't know, we're just dating" Just dating? And he also states the ever-so-lovely "What do you want from me?" like I'm sucking out his life-force or something. Well, at this point I don't want anything from him.

I'm currently not taking his calls (it's only Tuesday, and the a-hole hasn't even called, but when he does I'm not taking it). If we're "just dating" he doesn't need to know what I'm doing every minute. I'm very bitter about this. I will have a follow-up blog with how things go through the week, because my fingers are tired and I want to go home now.

I have my head up my ass for putting up with that jerk.